Missing someone. Knowing that someone is gone and that you will never see them again in this life is a terrible thing. What is there but a void. A deep, bottomless void that makes one want to put one’s head back and howl – long, wolffish and aching.
But I give thanks for that void. Imagine if there were no void! It would be like cancelling him out. It would be like saying that he meant nothing to me. His smile, his voice, the way he walks, the smell of him when he hugs you, his laugh, his arms engulfing Mum, him tying on his takkies for gym, sitting in his chair watching TV…..
And so, uncomfortable and painful as that void is, I give thanks for it. Because it once was filled by an incredible man.
Two years ago today, we lost you.
I miss you, Dad.