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	<title>act Archives - &#039;ear &#039;ear! by Gaynor Young</title>
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	<description>Random thoughts of a happy brain damaged ex actress… Me!</description>
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	<title>act Archives - &#039;ear &#039;ear! by Gaynor Young</title>
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	<item>
		<title>Sinking Sands!</title>
		<link>https://www.earearblog.com/sinking-sands-2/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Gaynor Young]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 18 Apr 2014 04:25:16 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[God Ponderings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Inspirational Thoughts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Music & Entertainment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[act]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cosy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[directing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Happy Easter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[snug]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.earearblog.com/?p=1944</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>I placed my foot with sheer terror on what I perceived to be a shifting and sliding mass of gulping sinking sand. To my utter surprise I found that I&#8230;</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.earearblog.com/sinking-sands-2/">Sinking Sands!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.earearblog.com">&#039;ear &#039;ear! by Gaynor Young</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/quicksand.jpg"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-1949" src="https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/quicksand-300x207.jpg" alt="quicksand" width="300" height="207" srcset="https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/quicksand-300x207.jpg 300w, https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/quicksand.jpg 650w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /></a>I placed my foot with sheer terror on what I perceived to be a shifting and sliding mass of gulping sinking sand. To my utter surprise I found that I was not swallowed whole. I discovered that although this landscape was a totally new terrain, it was firm underfoot. I wasn&#8217;t sure where the path would lead me but it looked strangely inviting. Yes! Yes, I could walk here!</p>
<p>Let me tell you how I stepped out of my comfort zone onto this new, very unfamiliar yet strangely intriguing terrain&#8230;&#8230;</p>
<p>Before our pastor, Pete Veysie, began his sermon, he announced that Penny De Villiers was putting on an Easter production and was looking for actors. I felt the familiar pangs of guilt assail me. I had been going to George Methodist Church for seven years now and had avoided all theatre productions there like the plague. I did not want to get involved. I wouldn&#8217;t allow myself onstage because of <a title="About me and my accident" href="https://www.earearblog.com/about" target="_blank">my spasticity</a>. My days of playing a part were over. But the guilt continued to niggle. I could still offer my help though, I thought. Come on, Gaynor, get up off your butt and go and speak to Penny.<a href="https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Penny.jpg"><img decoding="async" class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-1951" src="https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Penny-186x300.jpg" alt="Penny" width="186" height="300" srcset="https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Penny-186x300.jpg 186w, https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Penny-636x1024.jpg 636w, https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Penny.jpg 786w" sizes="(max-width: 186px) 100vw, 186px" /></a></p>
<p>After the service, I made my way towards her. Penny is a short woman but what she lacks in stature, she makes up for in her exuberance and sheer love of life.</p>
<p style="text-align: left">&#8220;Penny, I would like to offer my services for your Easter production. But,&#8221; I took a deep breath and ploughed on, &#8220;I don&#8217;t want you to mention my previous acting experience to anyone. I am not offering myself as an actor. I would like to be an extra set of eyes and ears for you. If you want me, that is.&#8221;</p>
<p style="text-align: left">&#8220;Oh, Gaynor, you don&#8217;t know how much I have prayed for this. Thank you!&#8221;</p>
<p>I didn&#8217;t quite know how to respond to that so did a very quick exit!</p>
<p>There were about ten of us at the first rehearsal ranging in ages from twelve to seventy. Penny welcomed us, stated that I was there to offer suggestions and then proceeded to hand out scripts. The production was broken up into various parts: a carpenter who is accosted by two soldiers and instructed to make three crosses; a scene between Simon, the man that carried Christ&#8217;s cross with him to his crucifixion and his wife, Ruth; the crucifixion of Christ, and a dance. I was intrigued by the scene between Simon and Ruth and at our second rehearsal suggested that I tackle that scene outside while Penny dealt with the other scenes.</p>
<p>I was working with two lovely people, Nico and Barbara. Not only did we work outside that night but that scene became &#8220;our&#8221;&#8216; scene. We would get that scene to performance level. Penny must worry about the rest.</p>
<p>So Gaynor was directing!</p>
<p>Nico and Barbara would come around to my flat in the evenings and together we worked on that scene. It was something that I&#8217;ve never done before. Directing. It was totally new to me. And I found that I enjoyed it. The ground was not the terrifying quagmire that I had anticipated. It was a new, interesting path and I was quite enjoying what I was being presented with along the way!</p>
<p>Just as I was stepping outside my comfort zone, so too were Barbara and Nico. The sinking sand must have looked horrifying to them as well. After-all, they were going to expose themselves to the public. They dared to take their first steps onto that &#8220;sinking sand&#8221; as I coaxed them along. They discovered that they could walk as long as they kept their eyes on me. Barbara and Nico trusted me totally. They were willing to try new things, say things in different ways, react as if for the first time. Finally, I showed them that they no longer needed me to coax them along the way. They could step out with confidence on their own. Let them see where their own paths would lead. As a result, their performances grew.</p>
<p>Suddenly there were two very real characters speaking their lines in my living room. Barbara said to me: &#8220;Before you worked with us, we were like two speaking planks. You have given us&#8230;life!&#8221;</p>
<p>I stored that complement away.</p>
<p>Our comfort zones get nice, cosy and snug. Why should we leave them? Because without leaving them we are unable to challenge ourselves. And without challenges we are only half alive anyway! I don&#8217;t want to end up as a &#8220;nice,cosy and comfortable&#8221; person. I hope to end up as a woman who is not afraid of whatever life has to offer.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Nico-Barbara.jpg"><img decoding="async" class="alignright wp-image-1953 size-medium" src="https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Nico-Barbara-300x206.jpg" alt="Nico &amp; Barbara" width="300" height="206" srcset="https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Nico-Barbara-300x206.jpg 300w, https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Nico-Barbara-1024x703.jpg 1024w, https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Nico-Barbara.jpg 1706w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /></a>We joined the rest of the cast last Saturday afternoon for the final rehearsal. There was to be no afternoon sleep for me that day! Initially it was utter chaos but Penny, in her directors role, was magnificent. She pulled all of the threads together and suddenly like a tapestry, a picture was forming. All the dancers joined us and, sitting in a church pew watching the events onstage, I realised that we had a production here. And it didn&#8217;t look bad. It didn&#8217;t look bad at all!</p>
<p>The next day we had three performances. And they were great! The wonder of our Easter production could be summed up in one of the performers beautiful baritone voices, when he said:</p>
<p>&#8220;Surely this man was the Son of God!&#8221;</p>
<p>That was what was reflected in our production. That was what was shining from the dancers faces. That was what was mirrored in the performers eyes.</p>
<p style="text-align: center">Christ!<br />
Christ has died. Christ is risen. Christ will come again!<br />
Alleluia!!!</p>
<p style="text-align: center"><strong>Happy Easter everyone!</strong></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.earearblog.com/sinking-sands-2/">Sinking Sands!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.earearblog.com">&#039;ear &#039;ear! by Gaynor Young</a>.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Slippery Fish!</title>
		<link>https://www.earearblog.com/slippery-fish/</link>
					<comments>https://www.earearblog.com/slippery-fish/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Gaynor Young]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 21 Feb 2014 03:38:24 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Children, Family & Friends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Inspirational Thoughts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Music & Entertainment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[act]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[actress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beautiful]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[creator]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fish]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[listen]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[slippery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[write]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.earearblog.com/?p=1722</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>&#8220;The inner fire is the most important thing mankind possesses.&#8221; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160;&#8230;</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.earearblog.com/slippery-fish/">Slippery Fish!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.earearblog.com">&#039;ear &#039;ear! by Gaynor Young</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Slippery-Fish1.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="wp-image-1776 alignright" title="Photo by Nadya Kulagina" alt="Slippery-Fish" src="https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Slippery-Fish1.jpg" width="302" height="201" srcset="https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Slippery-Fish1.jpg 302w, https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Slippery-Fish1-300x199.jpg 300w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 302px) 100vw, 302px" /></a><strong>&ldquo;The inner fire is the most important thing mankind possesses.&rdquo; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; </strong>&nbsp;&#8211; Edith S&ouml;dergran</div>
<div></div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Create.</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;What does the word &#8220;Create&#8221; mean to you?</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;According to the dictionary it means &#8211; to make, &nbsp;cause to be, to become. But Vera Nazarian captured the meaning exactly. I envy her the ability to describe it so perfectly. Look at this&#8230;</div>
<div></div>
<div><em>&ldquo;One of the strangest things is the act of creation.</em></div>
<div></div>
<div><em>You are faced with a blank slate&mdash;a page, a canvas, a block of stone or wood, a silent musical instrument.</em></div>
<div></div>
<div><em>You then look inside yourself. You pull and tug and squeeze and fish around for slippery raw shapeless things that swim like fish made of cloud vapor and fill you with living clamor. You latch onto something. And you bring it forth out of your head like Zeus giving birth to Athena.</em></div>
<div></div>
<div><em>And as it comes out, it takes shape and tangible form.</em></div>
<div></div>
<div><em>It drips on the canvas, and slides through your pen, it springs forth and resonates into the musical strings, and slips along the edge of the sculptor&rsquo;s tool onto the surface of the wood or marble.</em></div>
<div></div>
<div><em>You have given it cohesion. You have brought forth something ordered and beautiful out of nothing.</em></div>
<div></div>
<div><em>You have glimpsed the divine.&rdquo;</em></div>
<div></div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Beautiful, isn&#8217;t it?</div>
<div></div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;I discovered my way of creating through acting. When I was an actress I understood that word intrinsically. I needed to create. I burned to create. You cannot imagine the frustration and utter despair at not being able to create at will. Having to wait for roles was a soul destroying thing. I often envied people that worked for companies like Pact, Napac, Capab or The Loft. There you were assured of roles. But on the other hand, you had to do what roles you were given. You didn&#8217;t have the freedom of choice that I had. I could choose which roles I wished to audition for and then if I was lucky the creation came into being .</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Recently Mum was clearing through her files. She had a file made up of the various cards given to her throughout the years, which she had kept for a particular reason. (My Mother is extremely organised!) I found a card that I had given my parents in May 1989. It reads:</div>
<div></div>
<div><em>May 1989</em></div>
<div></div>
<div><em>My darling Mum and Dad</em></div>
<div></div>
<div><em>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Just a short note&#8230;to thank you both so much for the loan.</em></div>
<div><em>I never imagined that at the age of 27 I would still be depending on my parents financially. It is indeed a humbling thing.</em></div>
<div><em>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Most people my age own a car, a house, a garden, M-Net, a husband and children. (Not necessarily in that order!) I don&#8217;t own those things. Not yet.</em></div>
<div><em>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;I am not bemoaning that fact. I am simply acknowledging, that years ago, I made that choice. I wanted to act. I still do. But things that are precious have their price and I have never, ever regretted the paying of it. I am just sorry that the two of you have also had to contribute. I wish it could have been otherwise. Maybe one day&#8230;..</em></div>
<div><em>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Of one thing I am utterly utterly certain: We are here on this earth to create. That creation might take place on a canvas, on a stage, on a page, in a hops field, in a shop fitting firm, in a womb! When we are not creating, we are only half alive. Then what is the point of living anyway?</em></div>
<div><em>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;And so, Mum and Dad, that is why your daughter does what she does. I am creating, in the way I best know how. Yes, one day I would like to create children so that they too can know the joy, the necessity of giving expression and form to that impulse that burns within them. I hope one day that I too can support them in the realising of their creations.</em></div>
<div><em>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Thank you both for that.</em></div>
<div><em>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;I don&#8217;t know if I&#8217;m ever going to be &#8221; successful&#8221;. I use the inverted commas intentionally! I hope so because I have always had the drive, the wish to be the BEST. But that in itself is not important. What is important is that I am doing what I must do. And believe me, Mum and Dad, I must do it.</em></div>
<div><em>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;I love you both almost too much.</em></div>
<div><em>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Gaynor</em></div>
<div></div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Now I <a title="Why I no longer act!" href="https://www.earearblog.com/about" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">no longer act</a>. But I create in another way.<a title="About my blog 'Ear 'Ear! Its creation &amp; success!" href="https://www.earearblog.com/yay/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"> I write</a>. I &#8220;<em>pull and tug and squeeze and fish around for slippery raw shapeless things that swim like fish made of cloud vapor&#8230;&#8221;</em></div>
<div>Often a voice inside of me tends to scream out in a panic stricken voice: &#8220;Noooo! I can&#8217;t do this! I have nothing! There is nothing to conjure up! I am a blank state of nothingness!&#8221;</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Then I take a deep, calming breath and remember.</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;When I was working with <a title="About Dame Janet Suzman" href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0840531/bio" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Janet Suzman</a> on <a title="Me and Othello!" href="https://www.earearblog.com/i-am-no-strumpet" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Othello </a>I learnt so much. The lessons she taught us as actors, I still use today as a writer.</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&#8211; Listen to what is going on inside of you and react accordingly! Listen&#8230;!</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&#8211; Why don&#8217;t we all have the courage to experiment, to explore?</div>
<div>Laugh. And so instead of &#8220;sliding through my pen&#8221;, &nbsp;my creativity tap-dances it&#8217;s way onto my keyboard. And there is always the Delete key!</p>
<figure id="attachment_1726" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-1726" style="width: 238px" class="wp-caption alignleft"><a href="https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Fisherman.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-medium wp-image-1726" alt="A gorgeous 'Slippery Fish' creation by artist Peter Pharoah" src="https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Fisherman-238x300.jpg" width="238" height="300" srcset="https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Fisherman-238x300.jpg 238w, https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Fisherman.jpg 676w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 238px) 100vw, 238px" /></a><figcaption id="caption-attachment-1726" class="wp-caption-text">A gorgeous &#8216;Slippery Fish&#8217; creation by artist Peter Pharoah</figcaption></figure>
</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; In this lifetime of ours we are all creators. Yes, believe me YOU are a creator! When one is going somewhere special and does one&#8217;s hair and face beautifully, one has just formed a &#8220;creation.&#8221; One creates when making a birthday cake, a new dress, when wrapping up a present with exquisite care and finesse. A beautifully decorated home is a creation. Children with a joyous inquisitiveness are a creation. One creates when making a persons face break into a glorious smile. One creates when making a person give a shout of joy, or terror or warning.</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;We are all creators! We create all the time.</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;I give a laugh at Dejan Stojanovic. He sums up my thoughts completely when he says: &nbsp; &nbsp;&ldquo;Creating means living.&rdquo;</div>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.earearblog.com/slippery-fish/">Slippery Fish!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.earearblog.com">&#039;ear &#039;ear! by Gaynor Young</a>.</p>
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		<title>Gotcha!</title>
		<link>https://www.earearblog.com/gotcha/</link>
					<comments>https://www.earearblog.com/gotcha/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Gaynor Young]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 14 Dec 2013 03:42:41 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Random Musings!]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[act]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[actress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[clapping]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cockatiel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dad]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[deaf]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gotcha!]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[laughing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[laughter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ovation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[perform]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rehearse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[smiled]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.earearblog.com/?p=1541</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>My mind is full of Madiba. I have been watching TV and he is everywhere. And yet he is gone. In Heaven, our Lord will be saying: &#8220;Hey there, good&#8230;</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.earearblog.com/gotcha/">Gotcha!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.earearblog.com">&#039;ear &#039;ear! by Gaynor Young</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div>
<figure id="attachment_1543" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-1543" style="width: 168px" class="wp-caption alignright"><a href="https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Gaynor-Rising-runner.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-medium wp-image-1543" alt="My 'Gaynor Rising' posters with two loyal fans, my nephew and niece!" src="https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Gaynor-Rising-runner-168x300.jpg" width="168" height="300" srcset="https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Gaynor-Rising-runner-168x300.jpg 168w, https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Gaynor-Rising-runner-575x1024.jpg 575w, https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Gaynor-Rising-runner.jpg 667w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 168px) 100vw, 168px" /></a><figcaption id="caption-attachment-1543" class="wp-caption-text">My &#8216;Gaynor Rising&#8217; posters with two loyal fans, my nephew and niece!</figcaption></figure>
<p>My mind is full of <a title="All about Nelson Mandela" href="http://www.biography.com/people/nelson-mandela-9397017" target="_blank">Madiba</a>. I have been watching TV and he is everywhere. And yet he is gone. In Heaven, our Lord will be saying: &#8220;Hey there, good and faithful servant&#8230;&#8221; I could and should write about him. But there are people better qualified to do that. So in order to turn my mind to other things, I read through my journal. And I thought: &#8220;Yes, that is what I will tell them about this week &#8211; My time performing Gaynor Rising at the <a title="The Baxter Theatre" href="http://www.baxter.co.za" target="_blank">Baxter Theatre</a>. This was pre-<a title="What is a Cochlear Implant and how does it work" href="https://www.earearblog.com/but-but-please-explain" target="_blank">Cochlear Implant</a>, time.</p>
<p>Pandora, my cockatiel and I left for <a title="All about Cape Town" href="http://www.capetown.travel" target="_blank">Cape Town</a>. Some people travel with their spouses or partners. I travel with my bird! I was to be performing at The Baxter Theatre for two weeks. I was looking forward to it but was also poop scared. The last time I had performed at The Baxter was before<a title="My accident!" href="https://www.earearblog.com/about" target="_blank"> my accident</a>. When I was an actress. A damn good one! That was over. I now performed as Gaynor Young telling her &ldquo;story&rdquo;. Would people find it interesting? Would it hold their attention? <a title="My director, Maralin Vanrenen" href="http://www.shout-africa.com/entertainment/maralin-vanrenen-receives-lifetime-achievement-award-for-exceptional-contribution-to-the-entertainment-industry/" target="_blank">Maralin Vanrenen</a>, my director, had no doubts whatsoever. I must do what I always do&hellip;have faith in Maralin!</p>
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<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;I stood at the top of The Baxter&#8217;s staircase and looked down into the foyer. I had performed here in quite a few productions before my accident. Oh,yes, I remembered this place. There was the bar where I had spent many an evening after my shows. &nbsp;There was the door leading backstage. There was one leading to the dressing rooms. I remembered this place so well.</div>
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<figure id="attachment_1550" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-1550" style="width: 200px" class="wp-caption alignleft"><a href="https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Jan-Suzman.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-medium wp-image-1550" alt="My friend Jan!" src="https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Jan-Suzman-200x300.jpg" width="200" height="300" srcset="https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Jan-Suzman-200x300.jpg 200w, https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Jan-Suzman.jpg 480w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 200px) 100vw, 200px" /></a><figcaption id="caption-attachment-1550" class="wp-caption-text">My friend Jan!</figcaption></figure>
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<div>I was to be performing in The Studio. It seats about 110 people. Perfect! I was downstairs reading about the various productions on at the theatre when I became aware that I was being watched. I turned to be met by the smiling face of an old friend, <a title="All about Janet Suzman" href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0840531/bio" target="_blank">Janet Suzman</a>. I hadn&rsquo;t seen her for about 8 years. We had been e-mailing each other regularly but there is nothing better than being able to put your arms around the actual person and give them the warmest of hugs. Janet was directing Hamlet for The Baxter. I would be opening on the 28th at which stage Jan would be Hamlet-ing in Grahamstown. She got back and then had a couple of days free and then Hamlet opened in the main Baxter Theatre. She would do her utmost to see my show when she returned from Grahamstown.</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;M and I began rehearsing in The Studio. M is a person that knows me almost better than I know myself. On the day of our final dress rehearsal I went out for lunch with a friend. It was great seeing her again. I then went back to The Studio and I gave an absolutely crummy performance. While M was giving me notes afterwards, she flipped her lid when she heard that I had been out to lunch with a friend.</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&ldquo;But, M, I didn&rsquo;t have any wine, I promise!&rdquo;</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&ldquo;It&rsquo;s not the wine I am furious about. It&rsquo;s you! Having lunch with someone you have to concentrate &ndash; particularly in a restaurant! You have brain damage, Gaynor!&#8221; She paused as if to let this sink in. And then in a softer tone, &#8220;You have your first performance tomorrow. I want all your concentration to be on that. Not on the friends you are lunching with. During these next two weeks your performance is what I want you to focus on. Totally!&rdquo;</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;My preview went well. &ldquo;And it&rsquo;ll go even better tomorrow night!&rdquo; said M.</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; I arrived at the theatre on Opening Night a bundle of nerves. Maralin and Karen, my Stage-Manager were already there. They had been adding bits to my set and it looked good. In my dressing room I found a letter from M.</div>
<div><em>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&ldquo;Shine as bright as you always do! Remember:</em></div>
<div><em>&nbsp; &nbsp;JUST TELL EACH STORY WITH IT&rsquo;S OWN SPECIAL ENERGY AND COMMIT YOURSELF TO EVERY DETAIL OF IT&rsquo;S SPECIFIC EMOTIONAL TRUTH.</em></div>
<div><em>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;You have made the journey. Now take us on that journey with you.</em></div>
<div><em>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;With you all the way, my friend.</em></div>
<div><em>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Love and bless you</em></div>
<div><em>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Maralin&#8221;</em></div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Mum and Dad came to my dressing room before my show to give me my three roses. It had long been a tradition for Mum to give me three Antique Silk roses on every opening night. On one opening night she didn&rsquo;t do it because I let them know very late on the Saturday morning that I was on that afternoon &ndash; Camelot!</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;She has never missed again!</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;That night my dressing room was filled with flowers from so many people wishing me well. Oh glory! I was a nervous wreck. I walked to a dark corner backstage and had a much needed chat to God. &#8220;Lord, I am freaking out here! I am truly going to need your help. You know that I can&#8217;t memorise words so each performance is different. I have to go &#8220;as the spirit moves me.&#8221;Please let your Spirit move me tonight! So&#8230;so over to you, Lord.&#8221;</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;The lights went down. I stood in the wings, acutely aware of my deafness, waiting for my flashing light from Karen which was my signal to move onstage. &ldquo;Please, Lord, don&rsquo;t let me make a fool of myself?&rdquo; I prayed again. FLASH, FLASH, FLASH! Oh, shoot! Here I go&hellip;</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;The light came up on me standing with my back to the audience. Then as if hearing a call my head spun around. Facing the audience I gave a slow delighted smile and my first line came out:&ldquo;Well, I never!&#8221;</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;I was away. My story had begun&#8230;..</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; I got a standing ovation that night. It was only when I saw M&rsquo;s face afterwards that I finally relaxed. &ldquo;Now&hellip;that was performing!&rdquo; she said as she hugged me.</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp;On the third night I gave a great show which was in turn reciprocated by a fabulous audience. I was just slipping into my trousers afterwards when there was a knock at my dressing room door. &nbsp;Without waiting for a reply the door opened and there was Janet. She didn&rsquo;t say anything. Merely embraced me. For a long time. Her eyes were wet.</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;I love performing. Because I was unable to hear, M made sure that the lights showed up the first two rows for me. I had to be able to see when people were laughing, when they were clapping. I also saw the faces of people. I saw the man whose wife had obviously dragged him there, much against his will. His eyes were bored and a touch resentful.</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;I began performing. Gradually I saw the resentment disappear. I saw him begin to listen with interest. I saw him collapse with laughter at some of my funny moments. I saw the tears rolling down his cheeks as I concluded with i thank you God for most this amazing day. Yes, I thought &#8211; <strong>Gotcha!</strong></div>
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<figure id="attachment_1545" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-1545" style="width: 300px" class="wp-caption alignright"><a href="https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/After-the-show.jpg"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="size-medium wp-image-1545" alt="Me, after the show with my old friend Bob Martin, the theatre photographer and Dad" src="https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/After-the-show-300x245.jpg" width="300" height="245" srcset="https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/After-the-show-300x245.jpg 300w, https://www.earearblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/After-the-show.jpg 791w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /></a><figcaption id="caption-attachment-1545" class="wp-caption-text">Me, after the show with my old friend Bob Martin, the theatre photographer and Dad</figcaption></figure>
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<p>After the show one night, I was drinking a glass of wine with friends when I was tapped on my shoulder. A man with a spastic left hand greeted me: &#8220;Yes,&#8221; he smiled acknowledging my look of recognition and moving his hand. &#8220;The same as you except I&#8217;m lucky, I&#8217;m right handed!&#8221; We introduced ourselves and then he said: &#8220;I so enjoyed your show. You showed me the joy of living. I had forgotten. Thankyou!&#8221;</p>
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<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;I smiled.</div>
<div>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; God smiled with me.</div>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.earearblog.com/gotcha/">Gotcha!</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.earearblog.com">&#039;ear &#039;ear! by Gaynor Young</a>.</p>
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