My mind is full of Madiba. I have been watching TV and he is everywhere. And yet he is gone. In Heaven, our Lord will be saying: “Hey there, good and faithful servant…” I could and should write about him. But there are people better qualified to do that. So in order to turn my mind to other things, I read through my journal. And I thought: “Yes, that is what I will tell them about this week – My time performing Gaynor Rising at the Baxter Theatre. This was pre-Cochlear Implant, time.

Pandora, my cockatiel and I left for Cape Town. Some people travel with their spouses or partners. I travel with my bird! I was to be performing at The Baxter Theatre for two weeks. I was looking forward to it but was also poop scared. The last time I had performed at The Baxter was before my accident. When I was an actress. A damn good one! That was over. I now performed as Gaynor Young telling her “story”. Would people find it interesting? Would it hold their attention? Maralin Vanrenen, my director, had no doubts whatsoever. I must do what I always do…have faith in Maralin!

 

After the show one night, I was drinking a glass of wine with friends when I was tapped on my shoulder. A man with a spastic left hand greeted me: “Yes,” he smiled acknowledging my look of recognition and moving his hand. “The same as you except I’m lucky, I’m right handed!” We introduced ourselves and then he said: “I so enjoyed your show. You showed me the joy of living. I had forgotten. Thankyou!”

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During my childhood, at Christmas time we went to the yearly pantomime. The delight of watching the stories of Peter Pan, Aladdin, Snow White, Cinderella and Jack and the Beanstalk unfolding before us was an enchantment I will never forget. I remember thinking: “One day I will be up there. I am going to become an actress!” I wanted to be part of that magical world that gave so many people pleasure.

Sure enough, I finished school and went on to do an Honours degree in drama. I then moved to Johannesburg and began my life as an actress. I choose to remember my life acting as being this idyllic time. But that is wrong. Yes, there were times that were sheer heaven but there were often those heart wrenching, frustrating, depressing times of – NO WORK!

I remember Dad standing with me at The Settlers Monument in Cape Town and saying:     “You have a really tough time when you’re out of work, don’t you, my Girl.”

Inaudible mumble from me.

“So what I have decided to do is this…..Every month I will place R500 into your account. And that can be your ‘F**K You’ money. With that ‘F**K You’ money you won’t have to worry about whether you have enough money for the rent. And when you are working you can save the ‘F**K You’ money for the rainy days that will inevitably come.

How I loved my Dad and his ‘F**K You’ money!

In 1988 I was cast as Dandini in the pantomime Cinderella which was directed by John Moss. Also in the cast were: Julie Hartley, Ian Von Memmerty, Malcom Terrey, Joey Wishnia, Toby Cronje and Brenda Sakellarides. He had directed the pantomime for as long as I could remember. All those years of being entertained by the yearly pantomime, now I was on the other side of the curtain: I was the entertainer! What is one of the most frustrating things now, is that I am unable to recall one single moment of being onstage before my accident. It is all gone. Just one big blank. I love it when people tell me about myself as an actress. It is totally foreign to me. It’s a photo album where the pictures are all new and interesting.

Miranda Moss, John’s daughter, was in Cinderella with me and we have maintained contact through the years. While I was in England recently she joined us for lunch in the Cotswolds. Sitting chatting she drew something out of her bag and gave it to me. “Here is the card that you made for my Dad on the opening night of Cinderella. He absolutely loved it and bought it with him when the family moved to England. After he died, I found it amongst his things. I am giving it back to you now. Treasure it. It’s really special.”

I had done it on musical notepaper. I had written:

neither gay nor young neither gay nor young neither

cinderellafitzgeraldcinderellacinderella

neither gay nor young neither gaynor young neither nor

cinderellacinderellacinderellacinderellacinderellacinder

my eyes have just gone squint how are yours doing???

I opened it to see:

Dear John

Before I went to university the only theatre I had ever experienced was your yearly Pantomime. You gave me my love of the theatre – and for that…thank you! As a child I delighted in your Pantos – I still do!!

With love from: Dand -ini

Dance – ini

Dazzle – ini

Dawdle – ini

Delicat – ini

Depraved – ini

Delectable – ini

Diarrhoea – ini

Desperat – ini

Disaster – ini

Dishevelled – ini

Diabolical – ini

Dilapad – ini

Diabetes – ini

Fosch – ini

Fettucc – ini!!!!!!!!

     I looked at it in wonder and amazement. “Glory be,” I said to the group around me, “I was an amazing person, wasn’t I?”

“Yes, and not a bit vain,” Tammy (Bonell Garner) said exploding with laughter.

I love being “given” bits of myself before my accident. I look at the Gaynor that made that card. She was a creative, merry, witty creature.

I think I would have liked her.

The post The Shoe Fits! appeared first on 'ear 'ear! by Gaynor Young.

I read a wonderful thing about death.

The author bought up the image of a ship leaving for sea. You watch it from shore as it sails off. You wave at the people on board and they wave back. As it moves further away, you can no longer see the people on board but you remain giving the odd wave. The ship gets smaller and smaller. You no longer wave but you stand there watching. Finally it disappears over the horizon. The ship is gone from sight. But you know that it is still there. It’s just that you are unable to see it.

That is what happens in death. The people are still there; it is just that they have disappeared from sight. One is merely unable to see them.

I hope that Dad gives me the odd cell phone call from his ship! He hasn’t as yet.

But I’m waiting!

The post Sailing Away! appeared first on 'ear 'ear! by Gaynor Young.

Two years ago today, we lost you.
I miss you, Dad.

The post Dad! appeared first on 'ear 'ear! by Gaynor Young.