‘My’ opera, “Lost in a Bluebell Wood” will cost money. We need to raise a million rand to get it into production. But, we are making headway!
In early December we drove to Prince Albert to see Nicky Rebelo in his one man show The Kreutzer Sonata. I was looking out the window, daydreaming. Suddenly my dreams were halted by this red and blue sign on the fence of Oudtshoorn bowls club. It seemed to jump out at me. WARWICK WEALTH it said in it’s bold lettering that couldn’t help but catch my eye. Warwick Wealth, I wondered, before my attention was caught up by the scenery on that wonderful drive over the Swartberg Pass.
About two weeks later I was at my friend’s golf club when I saw the name Warwick Wealth again, this time on a beautiful clock. Making enquiries I discovered that Warwick Wealth was actually a financial institution.
“Warwick” Wealth is a local and international company known as ‘The Investment Specialists’.
For reasons I can’t explain I felt I must contact Warwick Wealth and see if they would be interested in advertising on my blog. I sent off a letter to the CEO, Ian Kilbride, and got no response. Not being one to be put off at the first hurdle, I sent off a further letter. This time I decided to concentrate on the sponsorship money required to produce Lost in a Bluebell Wood.
Much to my delight, I got a response! “When you are next in Cape Town, please contact my secretary and make arrangements to see me.” Little did the poor man appreciate that he was going to see me sooner than he thought. At that very moment, I was visiting my sister in Cape Town! By the end of the day the appointment was made for two days hence. Now all I had to do was to find out whereabouts in Cape Town Warwick Wealth were based.
Incredibly I discovered that they were only two minutes drive from where Liz lived in Constantia. Fortunately my best friend and blog publisher, B, was also in Cape Town and was able to come with me for moral support. We found the offices in the glorious grounds of the Alphen Hotel. Nervously we sat in reception, refusing the kind offer of tea and coffee. After about twenty minutes I heard my name being called. Seeing this man striding towards me, I stood up, willing my spastic arm to behave itself for the handshake I knew was about to follow.
“Good morning, I’m Ian Kilbride”, he said extending his hand for the inevitable shake. My hand behaved, thank the Pope and I introduced B. Ian Kilbride is a good looking man, tanned, blonde haired with gorgeous smiling eyes. I felt the tense knot in my stomach relax as I began to breathe easier. Sitting in his office I said: “Before we start, may I just point out that both B and I are deaf. This is just in case we mis-hear at any point.”
“Don’t worry. I am well versed in deafness. My father has a problem with his hearing. He had his first Cochlear Implant in Southampton in England and his second at Tygerberg Hospital just eighteen months ago. He has the same audiologist as you, Jenny Perold.”
I looked at him stunned. “Glory be, then you…you know about deafness. You do truly know!”
He laughed gently. “Yes, I do ‘truly know!’ Now, tell me why you are here.”
B handles the monetary side of ‘ear ‘ear, so I decided to let her take the lead on financial matters, I could always chip in.
“Okay, so you are looking for money for the opera and for blog advertising. How much money do you need for the opera?” he asked
“Just over a million rands.” said B calmly
I had expected Ian to be flabbergasted at this amount but he didn’t even draw a breath. He wrote on a pad in front of him. “And how much would advertising on your blog cost me a month?”
I told him and once again he wrote on his pad. Then he looked up and said: “I would like to have an advertisement on your blog for the foreseeable future. As far as your opera is concerned, Warwick Wealth will sponsor the project to the tune of R200,000 providing you and your team raise the other eight hundred thousand required. I want a viable project.”
I wanted to fling my arms around this incredibly generous man and give him the biggest hug. But I behaved in a properly dignified manner, spluttered out a thank you and grinned inanely.
And so, we have raised about one fifth of my opera-mega sum.
Thinking back on the raising of that first R200 000, I am just so aware of God’s work throughout. I don’t believe in coincidence. There was too much that just fit so perfectly. Bits of a puzzle that when put together formed the most amazing picture. The fact that I was in Cape Town when I got the reply; the location of Ian Kilbride’s business; his father’s Cochlear Implants; the connection Ian and I seemed to have; his Spirit Foundation which assists bright but disadvantaged children through high school which resonates within me. Maybe this can be the subject of a future blog……..
When I was a child and had failed miserably at something, I used to get so irritated at my Mother’s: “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try and try again!” I didn’t succeed in getting a response to my first letter. I want to put back my head and shout to the sky with delight that I did try again.
With a wonderful mind-blowing result!

The post Coincidences??? appeared first on 'ear 'ear! by Gaynor Young.

*

“Sound has a profound effect on the senses. It can be both heard and felt. It can even be seen with the mind’s eye. It can almost be tasted and smelled. Sound can evoke responses of the five senses. Sound can paint a picture, produce a mood, trigger the senses to remember another time and place. From infancy we hear sound with our entire bodies. When I hear my own name, I have as much a sense of it entering my body through my back or my hand or my chest as through my ears. Sound speaks to the sensorium; the entire system of nerves that stimulates sensual response.”

Louis Colaianni, The Joy of Phonetics and Accents

*

For twenty-eight years I was a hearing person. Then due to my “plunge”, hearing became a thing of the past. I entered the grey soundless world of the deaf. I was suddenly thrust into a place that was totally foreign to this woman for whom sound had played a large, vital role. We take so much for granted, don’t we? I thank the Lord that I was born in the time of Cochlear Implants! In 2007 a CI operation was performed on my right ear and in May 2013 on my left. For eighteen years, I was cocooned in this soundless world. With Cochlear Implants, I was able to take flight once more!
One only truly appreciates something when it is taken away. To be given my hearing back is an indescribable thing. Wearing my Cochlear Implants, I now have access to so much.
People have been given back to me. Before my CIs it was as if they were standing on some distant shore. I could see them but they were too far away to communicate. Now they are standing on the same beach as me and we are able to communicate once more. Do you have any idea how wonderful it is to sit at a dinner party and chat with the various guests? Prior to my CIs, dinner parties were a total nightmare. I would see people talking and laughing and that was all I was able to do. Hearing them was out of the question.
After my accident, music was my most traumatic loss. Music that I had loved so much just appeared as this meaningless jumble. After my first CI, Mum and I sat quietly together and she put a CD on. I waited with bated breath and then I heard: “It won’t be easy, you’ll think it’s strange, when I try to explain how I feel, that I still need your love after all that I’ve done…”
I remained staring straight ahead but tears were pouring down my cheeks. I could hear Elaine Page singing Don’t cry for me Argentina. My music has been given back to me! Not only am I able to hear all of the music I knew and loved before my accident, I now am able to enjoy music that is totally new to me.
I am able to hear the birds sing. I can’t tell you how much delight I get from hearing birds twitter and chirp. I never want to go back to taking that precious sound for granted. I am now able to speak on a phone, go to theatre and films, listen to orchestras….So much has been given back to me. With my Cochlear Implants this deaf person is able to hear once more.
You cannot imagine my surprise at discovering a deaf person who had no wish to hear. She chooses to remain deaf. Let me tell you about Sarah Lawrence.
In June I had the chance to meet Sarah, the creator of the Deaf magazine, SL First. She and her business partner, Simon Deacy travelled from Wales to the idyllic cottage where my friend, B and I were staying in the Cotswolds. What a treat it was putting a face to this person I had merely been been e-mailing and ‘chatting’ to via social media in the past.
Sarah had mumps when she was three years old and became deaf as a result. When we met she her, she was wearing no hearing aids. She lip read everything we said. Things that she failed to understand, Simon would sign to her. How I wished that I could sign! I attempted to learn how, but with my spasticity and only forty percent vision, it proved too much for me. During the course of our conversation I said to her enthusiastically: “You should check and see whether you are able to have Cochlear Implants. Sarah, they are a complete wonder!”
Sarah looked horrified and said: “No, no, I would never have Cochlear Implants. I am happy being deaf.” She looked at my incredulous face and said, “I have no wish to hear.”
“But…” but….you’ve never heard. You don’t know what you’re saying! Imagine being able to hear children laugh, birds singing, thunder, the wind blowing….Sarah, those sounds are…they are indescribable.”
Sarah gently took my hand and smiled softly. “And I have no wish to hear them. I love my Deaf world.”
Is it because Sarah doesn’t know the delight of hearing that she is happy being deaf? I have thought a lot about our conversation. I asked Sarah to write about her deafness. Here is Sarah’s story: Someone who is happy in her deaf skin!

As a toddler, I was a lively little girl, loving life, learning and laughter. I don’t remember a lot, but I am told by my mother that I loved reciting nursery rhymes and singing, loudly! Aged 3, I contracted an unusual strain of mumps which caused me to lose my balance and fall over a lot. My mother thought that I could no longer hear, but considered an over protective hysterical mother by our doctor, it took many visits to the surgery before my deafness was diagnosed.
Cochlear Implants were in existence, even back then, but they were new and as far I know, they were not offered as an option to me.
A Deaf toddler in a hearing family with no experience of deafness, we were thrown into the hands of the Social Services and Education Authority. In truth, there was far too little information available to my parents with decisions on my upbringing and learning determined by the personal opinions of people in those departments rather than through informed choice. Sadly, in a lot of Local Authority areas, very little has changed in this respect, with one notable exception, more limited access to Deaf education.
I was encouraged to attend a mainstream school with a Partial Hearing Unit, where I spent endless hours trying to learn through teaching designed for children who could hear. Variation for me, came in the lessons that sought to teach me how to formulate words, using balloons and candle flames. I remember walking past a classroom one day and seeing a group of children being taught how to sign. I asked my teacher about it and was told that signing wasn’t for me, I was too intelligent for that apparently!
In those early years I tried wearing hearing aids, although all they gave me was some noise. They were big clunky things with a huge pack that I had to wear around my neck and on my chest. That pack might as well have had a few coloured rings on it, because it served as a target for other children, marking me out as different and, therefore, open to nasty comments!
I feel very fortunate to have been exposed to British Sign Language when I was about 9 and finally had the chance to start learning it when I was 15. Up to that point, I had been taught in a hearing school and had no Deaf friends or Deaf identity. It felt that I did not exist in either world, despite making a huge effort to conform to ‘hearing norms’.
I persevered with my hearing aids, despite them being useless for me for many years. As best I could I used my limited voice to make myself understood, but because of my hearing aids, I found that people just talked to me as though I could hear what they were saying or could lip-read. I could do neither and life became more and more frustrating.
Learning British Sign Language easily and quickly, I started to mix with other Deaf people. I took huge pleasure out of finally being able to relax when communicating, able to make myself understood without difficulty and fully understanding what was being said to me. It was as though someone had turned on sound for me, but the sound came in terms of signs, gestures, mannerisms and facial expression.
I attended audiology appointments annually, but despite developments in hearing aid technology, the noise I could hear never improved – it was just noise. I cannot remember ever being offered cochlear implants. About 12 years ago, I realised that wearing hearing aids and using my limited voice was actually giving people the wrong impression about my communication needs, so I decided to ditch the hearing aids and have not worn them since. I am a Deaf signer, and if people allow me to use my first language, I can be as fluent and descriptive as the next person.
I know that it is still common in all walks of life to describe and deal with deafness as hearing loss. It is instantly seen as a disabling quality, and in many aspects of life, is the means by which life limiting decisions are made around Deaf people. That has certainly been the case for me, in every job that I have had.
With Cochlear Implants becoming more and more common, I have been asked many times why I have not sought to have them fitted. I have also been asked if a magic wand could be waved to give me hearing, would I want it. I think it is hard for hearing people and late deafened people to understand that I wont consider cochlear implants and wouldn’t now want to hear. I also think that is hard for me to explain why.
I am a proud Deaf woman and being Deaf defines who and what I am in life. I feel a part of deaf life and deaf society. That is my identity. I know that at I am still relatively young and have many years ahead of me (well hopefully) but I feel I am too old in the tooth to try and carve out a new Sarah Lawrence. My friends and family know who I am, what I stand for. Don’t get me wrong, being Deaf still brings a lot of frustration, tears and sleepless nights, but I guess, the same applies to those who hear too.
Being fitted with cochlear implants would be no quick fix. They do not turn on knowledge and understanding of the noise you then hear, especially for someone like me who has no knowledge of what different things sound like. My deafness has given me the opportunity to express myself in different ways in life and in many instances, has helped me communicate effectively when working or holidaying abroad. I see things differently and I believe I am more visually stimulated than my hearing friends and colleagues. I have learned to use my deafness as a strength and it is only the world with which I interact that make it a disability.
I don’t say that I am right, life is about making your own choices and making the most of the opportunities that you have. I respect the right for people to make their own decisions, but in return, I expect people to respect my decision, even if they don’t understand it. Perhaps one day, deafness will be considered cool!

Click on the front over of SLFirst to look at this brilliant magazine!

The post The flip side of the coin! appeared first on 'ear 'ear! by Gaynor Young.

       Once more it is PJ Powers singing and Gaynor listening. The difference is two Cochlear Implants and the fact that Gaynor can now hear that wonderful voice singing Jabulani, Jabulani Africa…..I too am able to respond with rapture to my friend singing. Firefly, the latest show that PJ is in, is about Penelope finding light in the dark. It was a firefly moment for me too. Hearing her voice for the first time was like having a light shone on something that was previously a dark indecipherable mass.

The post The Loved One! appeared first on 'ear 'ear! by Gaynor Young.

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The post My Deaf Guy!!! appeared first on 'ear 'ear! by Gaynor Young.

I used to have a great voice. It was clear, strong and true. (Hmmmm, okay, so modesty might not be one of my strong points, but with brain damage, one always tends to ‘say’ what one thinks!) I had always loved singing. In fact, singing was engrained into me. I loved music. Just as one gets hungry and eats, so too I opened my mouth and sang.

Then I had my “Plunge” and  consequently lost 60% eyesight, became brain damaged, spastic down my right hand side, totally deaf and as a result, my singing days are over. I am unable to sing in tune. I can’t explain the loss that is to me. I am no longer able to open my mouth and bring people pleasure. Which is not to say that I then cease to sing. Oh no, I still open my mouth and notes pour out. Often. It is just most unfortunate for the people who are in the vicinity! They are treated  to a very loud, hopelessly off key version of whatever music has taken my fancy!

In Church, even with my CI’s, I am unable to grasp the tune of any new songs, so for songs that are unfamiliar to me I just keep quiet and ponder the words that are being sung. But if I know the song, I launch into it with gusto, blasting out the tune in sheer off key abandon! God knows what my voice is like and He doesn’t mind! I apologise to my Mum standing next to me and the people in front of me in church. How they manage to keep singing and not gape in silent horror and fascination is beyond me!

But last Sunday an amazing thing occurred.

We sang four songs that I knew so I “blasted” them out with gusto. To open my mouth and sing is still a wonderful thing! After the church service Mum turned to me in the car park: “Do you realise that you sang in tune today? I waited for you to go off key but you didn’t. Gaynor, you sang in tune!”

“I sang in tune! Are you sure?” I looked at Mum’s smiling face and grinned.

I grinned the whole way home!

So to my audiologist, Jenny Perold and my CI surgeon, Dr Wagenfeld, indeed to the World, I say: “Maria Callus I am not. But thanks to my second Cochlear Implant, I am beginning to sing in tune once more!”

And I could improve as time moves on. Who knows?

Celine Dion – watch out!

The post Celine Dion, watch out! appeared first on 'ear 'ear! by Gaynor Young.

Isiah 40

When I had my accident I was deafened by my fall. I had no hearing whatsoever in my left ear and two percent hearing left in my right. I was, to put it bluntly, deaf! I had a lot wrong with me after my fall – my spasticity, my 40 percent eyesight, my speech was affected and my loss of memory. But it was the loss of my hearing that affected me the most. Communication is such an important part of life, isn’t it? Without communication one is living in a lost world. Not being able to speak was the most dreadful and frustrating thing. But I went twice a week to Speech Therapy and gradually was able to form words and finally sentences again.

But with my deafness, that was it. Finish en klaar! I used to lie in bed and pray: Lord, let me hear again? Please, Lord, put an end to me being deaf! It was as if someone had locked me in a dark room and thrown away the key. Not being able to communicate, I was lost in a world that try as I might, made little sense.

I had to discover other ways to live my life. Because I couldn’t hear what people were saying, I used to watch them. I picked up so much. Small things that normally I wouldn’t have noticed, told me a lot about a person. It made me wish that I had “looked” at people more beforehand. It would have made me more perceptive and would have given me greater insight. I found that I was open to other people’s vulnerabilities because I knew that place.

Before my accident I was a people person. I loved chatting, laughing, joking. I was a great party person! I was also a singer and many a happy evening was spent with me on my guitar and friends of the family sitting, drinks in hand, singing along. All of that changed after my accident. As a result of my deafness singing was a no no! I found it difficult communicating. This “people person” became a recluse.

And it got worse. It was discovered that I was losing what little hearing I had. Jenny Perold, my audiologist said that within a few months I would be totally deaf. With reservation she suggested a Cochlear Implant. I say – with reservation – because nobody knew what my brain was like. So, very hesitantly, we went ahead and the CI was performed.

Success!

I am now able to hear birds, childrens voices, the TV, music, films! I am able to sit at a dinner party and understand what people are saying! I thanked God over and over. And over yet again.

Because I had never heard a thing in my left ear, we never ever considered an implant. But Jenny and Dr Wagenveld had different ideas! An operation that should have taken two hours took three but Dr Derek (as I call him!) and Jenny walked out of the operating theatre with smiles on their faces. “We got a response on each of the twenty-two electrodes we put in! Gaynor will hear in that ear. We don’t know how much, but she will hear on that side again.”

And indeed I am! I am not hearing nearly as well as my right ear hears but that is to be expected. But my left ear can hear! And it will continue to improve.

I am so incredibly blessed. I think back to that girl praying to God to help her hear again. And He has. But in His own time. Maybe I had to grow more as a person.

God has enabled me to hear. But He hasn’t cured my deafness. Each time I lie down to go to sleep, I take my CI hearing appliances off. And I am reminded again of how great God is; how He enabled man to technologically create such a wonderful thing as a Cochlear Implant!

The post Isiah 40! appeared first on 'ear 'ear! by Gaynor Young.

To be sung in a Julie Andrews voice a la Sound of Music!

“Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start

When you read you begin with A B C

When you hear you begin with

Tip Tap Tea

Sit Sat Sea…..”

Yeah, I know, I know – why the hell am I bringing up Doh A Deer with very strange words? Laugh! Let me explain…..

Now that I am beginning to hear with my left ear I am having to do exercises. Exercises that are “easy-peasy” to you hearing folk. But damn difficult for me. Mum is being a super-star and a very hard task master!

Firstly I  take off my “good ear” so that it is me and the “reincarnated” ear that tackle what lies ahead! Mum then reads the words: coot, kit, caught, cot, cart, cut, and I have to repeat them all after her, looking at the words as she says them. Then the difficult part starts. I am not allowed to look at the words OR at her! Just listen to the word she says and then repeat it to her. Yep, as I said, “easy-peasy” for you hearing folk but it’s a different case for me. It is bloody difficult!

Horde, had, heed, head, hid, hard.

Sound is vibrations that travel through the air and can be heard when they reach a person or animal’s ear. I can hear sound now but at the moment my brain is struggling to interpret it. So I might make a mistake between ‘head’ and ‘hid’!

Laugh –   It drives me stark raving mad!!!

The post Me and Julie Andrews! appeared first on 'ear 'ear! by Gaynor Young.

For twenty three years my left ear had been dead, killed in my eighteen metre fall. On Monday it was resurrected back to life through a Cochlear Implant. Sound came exploding back with a vigour and at times unpleasant force.

Mum, Liz and I trooped into Jenny’s office. Once I had sat down, she pulled a black suitcase towards me.

“This is yours,” she said opening it. It was choc-a-bloc full of small boxes that varied in size. Each of the boxes held some accoutrement to go with my Cochlear Implant. Once we had gone through the suitcase with Jenny ticking items off she pushed it to one side.

“Right, let’s get you hearing again,”she said with a gleam in her eye.

“How do you know the operation worked? Everyone is presuming I’ll hear again. The operation might have been a flop!”

“Not according to your response during the operation. Hook this behind your ear.” She passed me a small hook that was attached to a long wire connected to her computer. “Now take your other hearing appliance off.” I did so. “Okay, let’s go and look for that hearing!”

Jenny told me to tell her whenever I heard a sound. She pressed three keys and we were off.

“Listen” is the wrong word for what I then proceeded to do. I would close my eyes and it felt as if I would dig deep into the various passage ways of my brain as I searched for those sounds.

“Yes, Jen, there were three sounds there but I didn’t “hear” them, I “felt” them.”

Jenny apparently said out loud to Mum and Liz, “She heard them!”

A few moments later…”Yes, I felt three sounds again. But these three sounds were at a very high pitch and I didn’t hear…”

“…them you felt them,” Jenny finished for me.

And we continued like this for the next hour? Then Jen said: “Right, I’m going now to press a switch and let’s see what you hear.” I would love to say that the switch was pressed and the world and all it’s wonderful sounds came tumbling into my life. But it didn’t work like that. I waited in breathless anticipation and then my first sound arrived – television snow! LOUDLY! It was horrific. I said so to Jen and she twiddled a few keys and then my snow turned into a hive of angry bees.

“What are you hearing?”

“Bees. Thousands of bees.” Jen didn’t look perturbed. “Angry bees, Jenny!” A few more keys were pressed and their anger diminished but they still buzzed about.

“Can you hear me?” I saw her saying. And that was when I lost it completely. I burst into a flood of helpless tears. If this was what what living with sound in my left ear was going to be like than no, thankyou! I had never been mad about bees. Liz shoved a tissue into my hand and I sobbed into it. But the bees seemed to be getting less. I blew my nose and wiped my cheeks and the bees seemed to stop. I cocked my head, waiting for them to re-appear but no bee came near me.

“Oh, they’ve gone now.”

“I’m glad,” I saw Jenny saying. Hold on, I wasn’t only seeing her say it. I was hearing her say it. It was as if she was playing the game we used to play as children with a hosepipe. One person would speak down the hosepipe and the other around the corner would lift the hosepipe to her ear and hear the message and duly reply. Jenny was hosepipe speaking! I told her this. More fiddling on the computer and it was better. I put on my right CI appliance and hell, that felt good hearing from both sides at the same time. It felt marvellous! Jenny chatted to the three of us and I…could…hear…them! Initially I had to see their lips when they spoke but as time passed so this wonderful left ear of mine began to stretch its muscles and truly wake up. I was listening to them speak with both ears! I was listening to them speak with my resurrected left ear and it felt pretty good. Then Jenny said: “I am just going to switch off your left ear because I need to make some adjustments. Your right one will be on though.” And she switched it off. The silence on my left was startling. It was actually horrific! Is this how I’ve been living for the past twenty three years? I felt lopsided.

I felt incomplete.

That was the most startling discovery I made that Monday. The fact that with my left ear working I feel – whole. I feel complete!

I look forward to Thursday where Jenny will work more miracles on her wonderful computer and cause this left ear to hear more…..and more…..and more!

I am so incredibly blessed!

And thankful. My gratitude to the people that thought and prayed for me knows no bounds. But – don’t sit back and think: Oh, great, prayers and positive thoughts are over. No, I still need a whole lot more.

I will tell you when to stop!!!

The post Oh, the buzzing of the bees…..! appeared first on 'ear 'ear! by Gaynor Young.

Just to say Gaynor is out of theatre and awake! She will blog properly about everything soon!

The post Awake! appeared first on 'ear 'ear! by Gaynor Young.