“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”
– Unknown

Actor, director, scriptwriter, screenwriter, editor but more importantly, one of my truest friends – Shirley Johnston!
Now please, all of you non-theatre people, don’t think: “Ah uh, this blog’s not my type!”
Shirley goes much further than mere theatre and film, as you will see!

Shirley and I have been friends for about thirty-two years.
“How did we meet, Shirley?”
Knowing my shocking memory after my fall, she filled me in.
“We met at the Othello audition. I didn’t get the part I wanted but you were cast as Bianca the whore. You were a beautiful up-and-coming young actress from Durban and you made a huge impact on me as a glorious and talented performer. We soon became friends. You often came round to our house in Bramley to visit and play with my young sons, who were then aged 6 and 8. I always remember arriving home from a long weekend in Durban and on our doorstep was a chicken casserole which you had cooked and left for us.”

Shirley and I were both rehearsing at The State Theatre in 1989. She was rehearsing Under the Oaks and Over the Hill with Bobby Heaney directing. I was rehearsing Camelot. The night I had my fall as understudy for Guinevere, they had already moved to the Windybrow Theatre. She heard the shocking news at their interval but ‘the show must go on’!

Two year after my fall, Shirley and her husband, Dave, gave me this wonderful thirtieth birthday party. All my friends came and it was there that I gave my first post accident speech. The speech was slurred but understandable. I concluded with the e.e.cummings poem: i thank you God for most this amazing day
There weren’t many dry eyes but that is the enchantment of his poetry. It was the most unbelievably happy day for me. 

Shirley is like that. She is a Giver. She always makes my heart smile!

My parents bought me a computer after my fall. The idea was to coax me into using my right hand which was now spastic. I tried, I really tried but eventually my left hand became my right. I used to labour for long hours writing letters to friends. I wrote often to Shirley and she promptly answered back. I moved to Headway in Johannesburg and whilst there, I stayed at St Giles, a home for the disabled. After my therapy, I used to come home and write. I wrote about things that were important to me: my loss of memory, my deafness, my spasticity. I knew that Shirley, as well as being an actor was also a writer. So I duly sent these missives to Shirl. I would always get  encouraging letters back. One day I sent her my sixth re-write of an essay on my deafness. Instead of getting a reassuring, positive letter back, I received a letter that blatantly criticised everything I had written. How dare she? I was totally furious! I went to bed and tossed and turned with resentment. The next morning, I re-read her criticism. Calmer now, I was able to see that everything she had written made sense.
I wanted to write a book. I could only do that with Shirley as my editor. Shirley agreed. 
My book writing began.

Shirley said: “You sat there doggedly typing with one finger for weeks and weeks on end. You ploughed on determinedly, displaying that amazing Gaynor Young mettle which few people in this world possess. We argued like sisters. I remember spending a weekend with you in George and your parents heard raised voices. I had to talk loudly because then you were very deaf. It was before your cochlear implants. Your mum came into the dining room.
‘Are you two fighting?’ she asked, concerned.
‘No, just discussing,’ was the answer!”
My book My Plunge to Fame was published in 2000. I could never have accomplished it without Shirley’s encouragement, criticism and her absolutely belief in me.

In 1993 Shirley wrote Plastics and was mind blown to win the National SACPACS Best Playwright Award. It was produced in Johannesburg, Pretoria, Cape Town, Stellenbosch, Grahamstown and Australia! A few years later, in 1999 she won the M-net New Directions Scriptwriting Award, for Clean Hands. Shirley was on a roll!!!

Early in the 2000’s, she came across a story that she had written for her sons when they were youngsters called Felix the Flautist. She could turn this story into a film script, she thought with mounting excitement. And so Felix, King of the Sax was born. I had no idea that with this script, Shirley went on to win the Sithengi’s 2004 Writer’s Forum Award. She was a finalist in the US Specscriptacular Competition; and was a quarter-finalist in both the Francis Ford Coppola’s American Zoetrope Screenplay Contest and the Moondance Screenwriting Competition. 

If I had been winning all those awards, I am pretty sure that I would have phoned all my friends and let them know in no uncertain terms how brilliant I was! This is one of the many things I love about Shirley. She enveloped herself in the satisfaction of the prizes and began looking for a way to get it made into a film. It took nine years before the wonderful Roberta Durrant got things swinging into motion. The script was filmed and released in 2013 as Felix! The film went on to garner seventeen international awards, including the Muse Award for Best Screenplay in 2014.

Recently Shirley has been performing with Lynita Crofford in Gertrude Stein and a Companion, directed by Chris Weare. It amused me the way it all began. Lynita Crofford had been performing successfully in two one woman shows. You either shine or you die in a one woman show. Lynita’s shows did wonderfully. But it is a lonely process. I remember longing for someone else onstage with me during my one woman shows. So Lynita was searching for a play for women. And she found the perfect script in Gertrude Stein and a Companion.

She had been directed by Chris Weare before and loved his work. He said yes instantly. Lynita needed to find another female actor to play opposite her. She didn’t even consider her close friend, Shirley. She knew that she was involved in writing projects. On Shirley’s birthday, while having coffee with her, Shirley mentioned that she wanted to take a break from writing. Lynita’s smile engulfed the room.
“I have the perfect birthday present for you, my friend. How would you like to play Gertrude Stein opposite my Alice B. Toklas?”

When I acted, thirty years ago, there were theatre companies: PACT, CAPAB, NAPAC and PACOFS. These companies provided work centres for the actor. Now they no longer exist. Actors are employed by various theatres that put on a constant variety of shows. Shirley, Lynita and Chris formed a small, independent theatre company. It is difficult for them to make a profit. They have to pay for the cost of hiring a theatre, publicity, stage management, employing technical staff and the rights of the play. I know that Shirley and Lynita teach during the day. Because of this, they could afford to put on the production. The three of them worked all day and then met and rehearsed in the evenings. The result was astounding!

They opened Gertrude Stein and a Companion at the Alexander Bar in June 2018 for two weeks. It was such a resounding success that they returned in October for a further two weeks. In 2019, they took it up to Johannesburg, the Hilton Festival and also to Dublin, Ireland. In Ireland both performers were nominated for best actress in the Dublin International Gay Theatre Festival.
Lynita won! 

“Never have I ever wanted to jump up and shout “Encore” at the end of a play, that is, until tonight!” wrote Correy Sutherland in her review of the production.
Megan Furniss in her review says: “I am seldom jealous of beautiful scripts, but this one made me wish I had written it.
Both Lynita as Alice, and Shirley, as Gertrude, are superb. I have never seen either of them do anything like this and they are absolutely charming, clear, bold and amazing. Lynita’s Alice is solid and terse and grumpy and witty. Shirley’s Gertrude is expansive and cheeky and bold and lyrical. Her warmth and sparkle radiate from her. I loved the characters and I loved the performers playing them.”

Being involved in the theatre nowadays is tough. Nothing is handed to you on a plate. Gertrude Stein and a Companion came about through three people’s intense passion and a desire to see the production come to fruition. The winners of course are us, the audience!

In June, Gertrude Stein and a Companion is being performed in Hermanus. This is a performance I will not miss!

My memory of becoming friends with Shirley is gone. I have no memory of a before and after.
Shirley has always just been a part of me. At that Othello audition, a special person entered my life.
For life.

I think of Shirley and once again, my heart smiles……..

The post My Multifaceted Friend! appeared first on 'ear 'ear! by Gaynor Young.

What d’ya say, old friend?

Are you okay, old friend?………

           Songwriter: Stephen Sondheim

Hi there, my sweetest friend! 

Yes, I know that I am incredibly slack with my letter writing. And that you always understand and take great delight in what I have to say. So, let me take you on this somewhat sentimental journey…….

I remember our first meeting.  

It was about ten years ago. I was treated to a trip to England by B. It was such a terrific adventure for me and part of that adventure was meeting you.

“Oh, what an incredibly beautiful Georgian house, B!” I exclaimed in delight as we drove into your curving drive. “I am dying to meet the owner.”

And that was when you opened the door and another special person entered my life. You came toward us smiling. Many people have smiles that don’t meet their wary, curious, anxious eyes. You had this wide, open smile and your eyes matched that smile exactly. How could I fail to like you instantly?

We had lunch outside in that magnificent garden of yours. Most gardens I see in England are small. I stood in your garden and didn’t quite manage a Julie Andrews in A Sound of Music twirl. Mine was more of an unintended, lop sided Carol Burnett kinky twist. 

“This garden is gloriously big and beautiful,” I exalted, as I collapsed mid twist on the green carpet of grass laughing. We sat outside in the sunshine which is unusual for England! You served a glorious BBQ (not a Braai!) lunch with jacket potatoes and salad and oh, how we talked.

We drove home that day and I knew I had made a friend for life.

On a subsequent occasion, B had unfortunately booked me a holiday in England that coincided with Wroxham Week. Being a sailor yourself, you know what Wroxham Week is all about. It is the yachting regatta deluxe in Norfolk. Unfortunately, I am definitely not a sailor, so while B and John stayed on a boat, I moved in with you. We had such fun together, staying up late at night, drinking wine in the kitchen, exchanging stories and learning more about one another.

One afternoon, you took me to see your husband’s grave. It was in such a beautiful spot. It was on the outskirts of the village. The church was outlined by rolling farmlands.

“One day, will you lie next to him?” I asked. You looked at me and nodded. “Come on,” you laughed, “we’ll make an English woman out of you. Time for another cuppa tea!”

On another trip to England, it was my 50th birthday. How well I remember the party you gave me. It was small, but everyone there was special. You made six wonderful muffins with the letters of my name: G – A – Y – N – O – R glowing in pink icing. You carried them towards me singing loudly. I looked at your radiant, beaming face and I thought I would explode with happiness. 

That was the thing about you. You gave off a scent of joy!

On the 17th February, I received the news that you had gone. You had left this world and moved on to a better place. I felt numb, the breath knocked out of me. No more YOU in England!

I recently stumbled across this piece. It speaks of water, sailing and the sea, all things that you loved. It seemed so appropriate for those of us you have left behind, grieving your loss.

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.

The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.

The circle of life is so hard….

I smile thinking of you now with your husband. And that sea will continue to ebb and flow in my life. I love you, sweetest friend. Until we meet again…….

As always, with a smile I kiss your beautiful eyes 

Gaynor 

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As you all probably know, November/Movember is responsible for the sprouting of millions of moustaches around the world. With their Mo’s, men heighten awareness about prostate and testicular cancer as well as raising vital funds for further research into these diseases. I applaud this idea. Yes, certainly. But it is hellish for the deaf world! Why? Well, for deaf people lip reading naturally plays a vital part in our everyday communication. The Arab woman covering her face, only allowing her eyes to show makes lip reading impossible. In the same way, chaos is caused to the deaf world by the sudden growth of facial hair on men. The moustache covers the upper lip.  All of a sudden lip reading is made intensely difficult. Men are difficult to read as it is! Just about impossible with the caterpillar lounging quite comfortably on their upper lips!

Let me tell you about my moustache experience!

I was doing one of my favourite things, ambling around Woolworths, when suddenly I felt this tap on my shoulder. I turned to see the face of a man with a very large moustache. It was so large that I couldn’t see his lips but his eyes were dancing with life.

“Gaynor Young?” he asked.

I nodded and he said: “I saw….”

I interrupted him with a laugh.”I’m sorry but while your moustache is rather magnificent, it covers your lips. I am deaf and I need to lip read. Would you mind if I did this?” I placed my hand under his chin. “Now I can feel what you’re saying.”

“I watched you doing that to Derek Watts on Carte Blanche. (For those that don’t know, Derek Watts is the host for a documentary investigative program in SA called Carte Blanche) It’s amazing! I tried it and I can’t feel what a person’s saying. How do you do it?”

“My hearing and 60% of my eyesight were killed off. As a result my other senses rallied round! My sense of touch is now amazing.” I wriggled my fingers provocatively before him laughing.

He returned my laughter. “I’m sorry, I should have introduced myself. I’m Matthew Taylor.

Everyone calls me Matt.”  We chatted together for a while and them I looked at my watch. “I must shoot,” I said, ” my rehearsal starts at ten.”

“Hey, are you acting again?”

“No, not acting. Those days are over but I am performing in my one woman show Gaynor Rising. It opens in a month at the Kwasuka Theatre. Please come?”

“Count me in. I’ll be there.”

Four weeks later I was performing in my show when I saw a familiar moustache dancing happily at one of my jokes. Matt had come! Afterwards, I met him in the bar. He had loved my show! He then bought my book and took down my cell phone number. He finished My Plunge to Fame the next day and phoned to say how much he had enjoyed it.  I invited him to lunch.

The doorbell rang. I gave a last check of my beautifully laid table and went to answer it. I opened the door to be met by this massive bunch of twenty-five yellow roses. “Ohhh,” I breathed. He moved the bunch and my world stood still. Matt’s beautiful mouth was grinning at me. His lips were deliciously gorgeous! The moustache had gone. “I thought it would make communicating easier,” he said.

Well, yes, I thought, I am very happy to ‘communicate’ with that mouth! How could I fail to be drawn in Matt’s direction? An un-mustached man with dancing eyes who gives you twenty-five yellow roses at lunch! That day a wonderful relationship began.

I have kept a letter he wrote to me……

     God was looking down at the people on earth, admiring his handiwork, ‘I’ve created a hardy yet loving people’ said he. ‘Sure there are bad elements, but that serves to fortify the human soul as well as providing balance. Without pitfalls there cannot be triumphs.’

    The Devil appeared and said, ‘sorry lot aren’t they! You know you were just lucky when I tested Job. I bet you if I tested another of your servants I could bring them to their knees. Send me whoever you wish and I’ll turn them to the dark side’.

    So God went to his angels and asked for a volunteer to silence the prince of darkness. All the angels quivered and were afraid for this was going to be a test of the limits of patience, courage and of love. One angel, God’s favourite, stepped forward and said ‘father, I’ll do it’. God said ‘you know that you will have to endure incredible suffering for a long time’. The angel replied, ‘it is the least I can do’.

    So God made his preparations. He knew that without the support of a loving family we are nothing. So the first task was to provide a loving home in the form of an earthly mother and father. To these two, God gave endless patience and love. He also gave them hearts that were capable of loving to the ends of the earth and to carry an enormous amount of heartache.

    And so the stage was set. God sent down his favourite angel and said, ‘my child you are to endure terrible suffering, but I will compensate you’. With that, the angel set about the business of living a life on earth.

    The years went past until the Devil thought, ‘the time is right, look how happy that angel is. It is time to make life a misery’.

    And so a tragic accident took place. The next few years were filled with sorrow, pain, frustration and a deep sense of loss, for nothing would ever be the same again. The angel’s family rallied around and provided the support that God knew was needed.

    The angel adapted to a new way of life, unable to continue with the old one.

    The people all saw the angel’s pain, spirit, fortitude and big heart.

    Because of the suffering endured by this angel, many people were fortified knowing they had less to overcome.

    Because of the tremendous spirit shown by this angel, many people were heartened, knowing that we can endure more if we have to.

    Because this angel had no guile, was humble and still loved God, the Devil was vanquished in many hearts and turned away in defeat to find new prey.

    God compensated this angel with friends who loved her only as true friends can.

    Then I met you and my life was filled with song and my heart with love for Gods favourite angel.

    I am proud to call you my friend.

    Love Matt

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