I used to have a great voice. It was clear, strong and true. (Hmmmm, okay, so modesty might not be one of my strong points, but with brain damage, one always tends to ‘say’ what one thinks!) I had always loved singing. In fact, singing was engrained into me. I loved music. Just as one gets hungry and eats, so too I opened my mouth and sang.

Then I had my “Plunge” and  consequently lost 60% eyesight, became brain damaged, spastic down my right hand side, totally deaf and as a result, my singing days are over. I am unable to sing in tune. I can’t explain the loss that is to me. I am no longer able to open my mouth and bring people pleasure. Which is not to say that I then cease to sing. Oh no, I still open my mouth and notes pour out. Often. It is just most unfortunate for the people who are in the vicinity! They are treated  to a very loud, hopelessly off key version of whatever music has taken my fancy!

In Church, even with my CI’s, I am unable to grasp the tune of any new songs, so for songs that are unfamiliar to me I just keep quiet and ponder the words that are being sung. But if I know the song, I launch into it with gusto, blasting out the tune in sheer off key abandon! God knows what my voice is like and He doesn’t mind! I apologise to my Mum standing next to me and the people in front of me in church. How they manage to keep singing and not gape in silent horror and fascination is beyond me!

But last Sunday an amazing thing occurred.

We sang four songs that I knew so I “blasted” them out with gusto. To open my mouth and sing is still a wonderful thing! After the church service Mum turned to me in the car park: “Do you realise that you sang in tune today? I waited for you to go off key but you didn’t. Gaynor, you sang in tune!”

“I sang in tune! Are you sure?” I looked at Mum’s smiling face and grinned.

I grinned the whole way home!

So to my audiologist, Jenny Perold and my CI surgeon, Dr Wagenfeld, indeed to the World, I say: “Maria Callus I am not. But thanks to my second Cochlear Implant, I am beginning to sing in tune once more!”

And I could improve as time moves on. Who knows?

Celine Dion – watch out!

The post Celine Dion, watch out! appeared first on 'ear 'ear! by Gaynor Young.

For twenty three years my left ear had been dead, killed in my eighteen metre fall. On Monday it was resurrected back to life through a Cochlear Implant. Sound came exploding back with a vigour and at times unpleasant force.

Mum, Liz and I trooped into Jenny’s office. Once I had sat down, she pulled a black suitcase towards me.

“This is yours,” she said opening it. It was choc-a-bloc full of small boxes that varied in size. Each of the boxes held some accoutrement to go with my Cochlear Implant. Once we had gone through the suitcase with Jenny ticking items off she pushed it to one side.

“Right, let’s get you hearing again,”she said with a gleam in her eye.

“How do you know the operation worked? Everyone is presuming I’ll hear again. The operation might have been a flop!”

“Not according to your response during the operation. Hook this behind your ear.” She passed me a small hook that was attached to a long wire connected to her computer. “Now take your other hearing appliance off.” I did so. “Okay, let’s go and look for that hearing!”

Jenny told me to tell her whenever I heard a sound. She pressed three keys and we were off.

“Listen” is the wrong word for what I then proceeded to do. I would close my eyes and it felt as if I would dig deep into the various passage ways of my brain as I searched for those sounds.

“Yes, Jen, there were three sounds there but I didn’t “hear” them, I “felt” them.”

Jenny apparently said out loud to Mum and Liz, “She heard them!”

A few moments later…”Yes, I felt three sounds again. But these three sounds were at a very high pitch and I didn’t hear…”

“…them you felt them,” Jenny finished for me.

And we continued like this for the next hour? Then Jen said: “Right, I’m going now to press a switch and let’s see what you hear.” I would love to say that the switch was pressed and the world and all it’s wonderful sounds came tumbling into my life. But it didn’t work like that. I waited in breathless anticipation and then my first sound arrived – television snow! LOUDLY! It was horrific. I said so to Jen and she twiddled a few keys and then my snow turned into a hive of angry bees.

“What are you hearing?”

“Bees. Thousands of bees.” Jen didn’t look perturbed. “Angry bees, Jenny!” A few more keys were pressed and their anger diminished but they still buzzed about.

“Can you hear me?” I saw her saying. And that was when I lost it completely. I burst into a flood of helpless tears. If this was what what living with sound in my left ear was going to be like than no, thankyou! I had never been mad about bees. Liz shoved a tissue into my hand and I sobbed into it. But the bees seemed to be getting less. I blew my nose and wiped my cheeks and the bees seemed to stop. I cocked my head, waiting for them to re-appear but no bee came near me.

“Oh, they’ve gone now.”

“I’m glad,” I saw Jenny saying. Hold on, I wasn’t only seeing her say it. I was hearing her say it. It was as if she was playing the game we used to play as children with a hosepipe. One person would speak down the hosepipe and the other around the corner would lift the hosepipe to her ear and hear the message and duly reply. Jenny was hosepipe speaking! I told her this. More fiddling on the computer and it was better. I put on my right CI appliance and hell, that felt good hearing from both sides at the same time. It felt marvellous! Jenny chatted to the three of us and I…could…hear…them! Initially I had to see their lips when they spoke but as time passed so this wonderful left ear of mine began to stretch its muscles and truly wake up. I was listening to them speak with both ears! I was listening to them speak with my resurrected left ear and it felt pretty good. Then Jenny said: “I am just going to switch off your left ear because I need to make some adjustments. Your right one will be on though.” And she switched it off. The silence on my left was startling. It was actually horrific! Is this how I’ve been living for the past twenty three years? I felt lopsided.

I felt incomplete.

That was the most startling discovery I made that Monday. The fact that with my left ear working I feel – whole. I feel complete!

I look forward to Thursday where Jenny will work more miracles on her wonderful computer and cause this left ear to hear more…..and more…..and more!

I am so incredibly blessed!

And thankful. My gratitude to the people that thought and prayed for me knows no bounds. But – don’t sit back and think: Oh, great, prayers and positive thoughts are over. No, I still need a whole lot more.

I will tell you when to stop!!!

The post Oh, the buzzing of the bees…..! appeared first on 'ear 'ear! by Gaynor Young.

This is my first post. Yep, now I am officially a blogger!!!

So why, you may be thinking, has Gaynor suddenly decided to blog. Well, this is something  I have  been thinking about for a while. I love writing and I enjoy entertaining and inspiring people. My   imminent second cochlear implant operation has given me the impetus to start. I have a very exciting subject – me!

I hope to make you laugh with me, and at times probably cry with me.

I hope to make you see life from a different perspective.

I hope to make millions of Rands from all the advertisers who are going to want to sponsor my blog…..okay, I want you to dream with me!

Please subscribe to my blog and Facebook page and enjoy the next incredible part of this journey called Life with me.

I promise you, if what has happened to me so far is anything to go by, you are in for a thrilling adventure!

I kiss your eyes Gaynor!

The post Hello World! appeared first on 'ear 'ear! by Gaynor Young.